Z času na čas sa medzi nami objavia ľudia, ktorí sú schopní vysloviť tak hlboké pravdy, že ich význam s postupujúcim časom len
a len dozrieva. A čím viac času uplynulo od jeho smrti, tým viac je jasné, že medzi takýchto výnimočných ľudí partil aj génius hovoreného slova George Carlin (1937-2008). Dnes sa však nechcem venovať jemu, ale obsahu niektorých z jeho vystúpení - ktoré vo svetle toho, čo sa dnes vo svete deje podľa mňa vystupujú ako diamanty.
Prvým je jeho preslov na tému Fear of Germs. Podarilo sa mi dokonca nájsť ilustrovanú verziu.
A rozhodol som sa, že výnimočne zhotovím prepis toho, čo hovorí, lebo si myslím, že je to naozaj geniálne a naozaj sa nás to týka. Predtým však chcem upozorniť na to, že v rozhovoroch pôsobí ako distingvovaný pán - na pódiu však vystupuje ako svoje alter ego - ako umelec, ultimátny rebel.
A jeho doménou je okrem krutej pravdy aj mimoriadne efektívna hra s anglickým jazykom a okrem iného aj vulgarizmami. George Carlin sa proste vyžíva v tvorbe tzv. Punch Lines - vo vetách, ktoré znejú a pôsobia ako úder päsťou. Neviem, či v tom kedy bolo väčšieho majstra než bol on. Tu je na ukážku aj ten istý preslov, ale pred živým publikom - to má ešte väčšiu energiu. Prepis je vytvorený z toho živého vystúpenia.
It's just one more way of reducing your liberty and reminding you that they can fuck with you any time they want. As long as you put up with it. Which means of course - any time they want. 'Cos that's what Americans do now - they're always willing to trade away a little of their freedom in exchange for the feeling - the illusion of security. What we have now is a completely neurotic population obsessed with security and safety and crime and drugs and cleanliness and hygiene and germs - that's another thing - germs! Where did this sudden fear of germs come from? ...In this country. Have you noticed this? The media constantly running stories about all the latest infections - salmonella, e-coli, hanta virus, bird flu, now they have West Nile Fever. And Americans are... They panic easily so now everybody's running around scrubbing this and spraying that and overcooking their food and repeatedly washing their hands trying to avoid all contact with germs - it's ridiculous and it goes to ridiculous lengths - in prisons - before they give you a lethal injection, they scrub your hand with alcohol! It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection. And you can see their point - wouldn't want some guy go to hell and be sick?! It would take a lot of the sportsmanship out of the whole execution. Fear of germs ... why these fucking pussies?! You can't even get a decent hamburger any more - they cook the shit out of everything now 'cos everybody's afraid of food poisoning! Hey, where's your sense of adventure?! Take a fucking chance, will you?! You know how many people die of food poisoning every year? - 9.000. That's all! It's a minor risk! Take a fucking chance, bunch of god damned pussies! Besides - what do you think you're having immune system for? It's for killing germs! But it needs practice! It needs germs to practice on. So ... So listen - if you kill all the germs around you and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you're not gonna be prepared. And nevermind ordinary germs ... What you're gonna do when some super virus comes along that turns your vital organs into liquid shit?! I'll tell you what you're gonna do - you're gonna get sick, you're gonna die and you're gonna deserve it - 'cos you're fucking weak and you've got a fucking weak immune system!
Let me tell you a true story about immunisation, ok? When I was a little boy in New York City in the 1940s, we swam in the Hudson river. It was filled with raw sewage. Ok?! ... Swam in raw sewage. You know - to cool off. And at that time the big fear was polio. Thousands of kinds died of polio every year. But you know something? In my neighbourhood - no-one ever got polio! No-one! Ever! You know why? 'Cos we swam in raw sewage! It strengthened our immune systems. The polio never had a prayer - we were tempered in raw shit! So personally I never take any special precautions against germs - I don't shy away from people who sneeze and cough, I don't wipe up the telephone, I don't cover the toilet seat and when I drop food on the floor I pick it up and eat it! ... eat it! Yes I do. Even if I'm in a side walk café ... in Calcutta ... the poor section. On a new year's morning during a soccer riot.
And you know something? In spite of all that "risky" behaviour, I never get infections. I don't get them. I don't get colds, I don't get flu, I don't get headaches, I don't get upset stomachs and you know why? 'Cos I've got good, strong immune system and it gets a lot of practice. My immune system is equipped with a biological equivalent of a fully automatic military assault rifles with night vision and laser scopes. And we have recently acquired phosphorus grenades, cluster bombs and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. So. When my white blood cells are on a patrol reconnoitering my blood stream, seeking out strangers and other undesirables, if they see any, any(!) suspicious looking germs of any kind - they don't fuck around! They whip out the weapons, they wax the mother fucker and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Into my colon. There's no nonsense. There's no Miranda Warning, there's none of that three strikes and you're out shit. First defence - bam! Into the colon you go!
And speaking of my colon, I want you to know - I don't wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom, ok? Can you deal with that?? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. You know when I wash my hands? When I shit on them. That's the only time. And you know how often that happens? Tops, tops - two, three times a week. Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays - you know what I mean? And I'll tell you something else, my well scrubbed friends - I don't always need a shower every day. Did you know that? It's overkill. Unless you work out, or work outdoors, or for some reason come in intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage everyday - you don't always need a shower. All you really need to do is to wash the four key areas - armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. Got that? Armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. In fact - you can save yourself a whole lot of time if you simply use the same brush on all four areas.
A čo sa mi nestalo. Potom, čo som zhotovil tento prepis, povedal som si, že veď by som to mohol vložiť do toho YouTube videa ako titulky a tak som zistil, že tam už titulky sú. Stáva sa. Aspoň som si trochu prečvičil angličtinu. Každopádne takto máte na výber -
v obidvoch videách sú titulky plus máte tento prepis.
v obidvoch videách sú titulky plus máte tento prepis.
A keď už sme pri tej téme - tu je ešte jedno pamätné vystúpenie George-a Carlin-a. Tiež sa perfektne hodiace k téme dnešných dní. Dnešný vývoj totiž dáva Carlin-ovi úplne za pravdu. Ak sme si mysleli, že máme práva, tak dnes, keď nám ich vlády takmer na celom svete šmahom ruky odobrali, je jasné - ako to Carlin trefne poznamenal - sa nejedná o žiadne práva. Práva by predsa boli niečo, čo by sme mali. Niečo, čo by bolo ne-odňateľné. Takže práva to nie sú - sú to dočasné privilégiá. Blahosklonne nám zhora dávané a zas odoberané, ako sa tým, ktorí nás o-vládajú práve hodí. Nie je na tom nič až tak nové, zložité, či objavné, ale asi nikto to nedokázal verbalizovať a predniesť lepšie než George Carlin.
Na záver už len uvediem komentár, ktorý niekto pridal k tomu rozhovoru, s George Carlin-om, ktorý som tu pripojil:
S pozdravom
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